Fred on Fred: The Untold Story
by littlesoprano
Summary: Fred tells us the real reason behind Mystery, Inc.'s unexpected breakup, and explains the negative changes in his personality. Movie-based. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:  Scooby-Doo and all related characters and elements (including the character Eric) are owned by Hanna-Barbera.  This is a strictly not-for-profit work.

Author's Notes:  First off, this a 100% movie-based fanfic, so much so that it doesn't make sense in the context of the cartoon personalities.  (If you haven't seen the movie I'm really not trying to discourage you—read away!)  It basically gives one explanation as to Fred's totally altered personality in the live action film—and a few other scenes in the movie.

I originally meant to write this in full-on narrative style, but quite honestly my other fic, Journey of Self Discovery, turned out to be a rather large undertaking in this regard... oh, for those of you that are reading that one—yes, I am doing to finish it (I like it much better than this one, too.)  I may turn this into a full narrative if there is enough interest in the story and I have time.  As it is, this is meant to be a monologue-style fic, as if Fred was speaking, so the "conversational grammar" is intentional.  Oh, and yes—writing as Fred was pretty hard...

Fred on Fred:  The Untold Story

By: Littlesoprano

Oh, man I never thought I could mess up this bad.

            I mean, let's face it, I'm not really known for messing up.  Fred Jones—leader of Mystery Inc—the guy that's always got the answers.  Always got the plan.  Mr. Cool.   Mr. Confident.  Right?

That's what I thought.  Until tonight, anyway.

            None of this would have happened if I'd just done what I was supposed to do in the first place.  This wouldn't have happened if I'd just stayed with Daphne.  I mean, that's how it's supposed to work; everyone knows that.  Captain of the football team....baseball team... most popular guy in school—you go with the most popular girl in school.  Okay, so we're not even in high school anymore, but you know what I mean.  Daphne is my type and I'm hers.  Well, we tried it.  You'd think after all those years of flirting back and forth things would have worked out between us, but the truth is there just wasn't anything there once we actually started dating.  That, and... well, you'll find that part out later.  Let's just say it didn't work out.  She agreed, and that's why when we broke up it wasn't a bad, messy split.  It wasn't even really a breakup, if you think about it, because we weren't a couple.  We just tried going out for about a month, and that was it.

            Sometimes I wonder if she knew the truth all along.  Daphne is really tuned in to that kind of thing.  Maybe, even though I tried so hard to hide it, she figured it out.  Woman's intuition. 

 Maybe she knew all along that I had a thing for Velma.  Had?  Have.  

Yes, you heard me right.  Velma.  There.  It's out.  Shocker, huh?  Yeah, I know.  That's _not_ how its supposed to work.  Most popular guy in high school with the brainiest (okay, let's say it—nerdiest) girl in the class?  I don't mean that as an insult to Velma—don't get me wrong.  Yeah, she's dorky, but that's just sort of how she is, and she doesn't care.  And you know what?  I really don't either.

So why did I do what I did if I didn't care?

Sorry, I'm moving too fast here.  Let me explain.  I like Velma just how she is.  Like I said, I know she's nerdy and her clothes aren't in style an all that.  You'd think I'd care about that, 'cause those things mean a lot to me, but I don't.  She's kinda like... well, you know in those old movies where there's this plain librarian or old maid or something and then she puts her hair down and takes her glasses off and all of a sudden she's wow-looking?  I could always tell that Velma was just as pretty as Daph, but it was sort of exciting that it wasn't as obvious.  Like a mystery—and you know how I like mysteries!  (Okay, I'm gonna spell it out for ya— I just plain have a thing for dorky chicks.  Is that so bad?)  Plus, Velma is just kinda exciting to be around personality-wise.  I'm used to girls going along with everything I say and acting like it's so great— I'm not going to say I don't like that.  But Velma... well, she'd follow my lead on mysteries and everything, but I always liked how she would argue and have her own opinions.  She's got that sharp sense of humor that's really fun to test out.  Not that I did it very often—she and I really didn't talk a whole lot.  Out of everyone in that gang, she and I were the least close.  I didn't really think much about why that was before—but now, I think it was.... well, I think I was afraid.  Whew.  I get afraid—who knew.  I'm not supposed to do that, either.  And why was I?  'Cause I could feel the tension between Velma and me, and I knew what would happen if I got too close.  I didn't know if she felt it, 'cause as smart as she is, she really doesn't know a whole lot about guys and going out.  That's Daph's department.  But I felt it, and I knew.  If I let myself get close to her, everything was going to come flying out into the open and I just couldn't let that happen.  Why?

Because, like I said, that's not how it's supposed to be.  I know this is going to make me sound like a huge jerk—maybe I am.  I acted like one tonight.  Heck, I've been acting like one for months now.  And it's all because I didn't want people to know how I felt about her.  'Cause even though I like Velma how she is, I was too afraid of what other people would think if she was my girlfriend.  

I know.  Go ahead and say it.  I was being a stupid idiot.  Well, you haven't heard anything yet.

So did I like Velma that entire time—all those years?  Yes.  I did.  And all those years I covered it up until I could barely feel it anymore, and the worst part was that I kinda used Daph to do it. All that flirting and the "let's split up, gang"s.  I knew what people thought of that, and I let them go right on ahead and think it.  I will cut myself a little slack, though—I did like her, too.  I wanted to so much that my feelings came around after awhile— Daphne is obviously easy for a guy to like.  I mean, we _did_ go out.  You know what, though, I think some people always did see through it.  They started to notice that Daphne was doing most of the flirting and sometimes I just didn't seem to notice.  Oh, I noticed all right, and I liked it.  It's just hat sometimes my mind was somewhere else....  And as for that splitting up business, I liked being with Daph, of course—I mean, what guy wouldn't?  But my real reason was that I knew darned well what would happen if Velma and I were ever alone for very long.  The tension would get so bad that I wouldn't be able to hold down all my feelings for her anymore.  So I kept us apart... purposely at first and then just out of habit.      

            But of course it happened anyway.  It had to, or I wouldn't even be in this mess right now.  It was about three months ago, and Velma was dating Eric— a computer genius guy at the state college.  I guess it would be pretty obvious that they might go out, them being so similar... and the thing was, even Velma thought it was too obvious.  But anyway, I got jealous, and it surprised me because by that time I'd pretty much convinced myself that I didn't even like Velma anymore.  What a joke.  I hated being jealous, too—I'd never felt that way.  I mean, I'd never had a reason to before.  I've never had a problem getting any girl I liked to like me back.  Maybe that's part of the reason I'm so crazy about Velma—she's kinda unattainable, you know?  I like a challenge.  But back to the story.  She was dating Eric, and I was jealous.  Okay.  Of course I was covering it up, and I did it so well that I think I began to forget it.  I had a lot of practice—I'd been doing the same thing with my feelings for Velma for years by that time.  Then one day we were all out on a mystery.... and Daph wasn't there.  Out of town.  That had never happened before.  And we had to split up, two and two.  I couldn't split up Shag and Scoob—I mean, come on.  That would be so obvious.  So I had to go off with Velma alone for the very first time.

            I'd like to say that I was my usual cool, collected self, looking for clues and going about my business.  But no, I couldn't keep my big mouth shut.  I had to go and ask Velma about Eric, and how they were doing.  More than anything I wanted to hear her say that she wasn't really that into him— and it happened.  Turns out she didn't really want to date him anymore—he was  a sweet guy, she said, but too much like her.  She said that everyone assumed that was the kind of guy that she wanted... and that she hated that because she wanted a  totally different kind of guy.  'What kind?' I asked.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  'Cause the next thing I know, she was describing a guy that sounded.... well, a lot like me.  Strong.  Confident—even a little bit of a show-off.  Good-looking.  Really masculine.  I mean, hey— that's me, right?  And that's what I said—'Hey, Velms, you just described me.'  I knew I was being cocky, and I knew she was going to give me a hard time about it.  (I think she liked it when I acted that way, though—she just wouldn't admit it.)  

            But this time, she didn't roll her eyes or mutter something under her breath like I thought she would.  She just looked down at the ground and said—real quiet—"yeah, Fred, I guess I did."

            I couldn't believe she said that, and then she looked up at me... and I knew she felt exactly like I did.  She bit her lip and looked almost a little scared, like she wanted me to say something.  The tension between us was about tripled by that time, and I knew she felt it just as much as I did.  All that practice I'd had putting back my feelings just went right out the window then, and there wasn't anything I could do.

            There wasn't really much I could say, either, even though I knew I should just start joking with her, just like I would have done before.  But I couldn't cover up my feelings then, the tension was exploding.... and she was staring at me in this almost.... well, I don't want to say begging 'cause that sounds awful, but that's really what it looked like.  It was like she could look right inside me and see all that I had been keeping away from her, and she was just asking me to let it go.  Or maybe she was asking me to just return her feelings, 'cause she told me later that she'd loved me that whole time, too, but she didn't show it until that day because she didn't think I'd like her back.  But I guess she felt the same way I did right then, because she couldn't hold back any more than I could.

            I bet you've already figured out what happened next.  I don't know if I kissed her or she kissed me or what happened, but the next thing we knew, that was exactly what we were doing.  It was like some force drawing us together, and we were just trying to hang on for the ride.  Oh, and I know a "gentleman never tells", but I've gotta say this—it was the absolute _World Series_ of kissing.  Incredible.  Hey, we had a lot of years to make up for!  Anyway, I have no idea how long we were at it, but let's just say that after a half hour we were supposed to go meet up with Shag and Scoob—and for the first time in the history of Mystery, Inc. Velma hadn't found a single clue.  (Not unless you count that really inconveniently-placed secret panel, anyway.)

            And that's how it all started between us—yep, started.  It wasn't like we got it all out of our systems right then and that was it.  I think I had it half in my head that that's exactly what would happen, even though.... you know, I don't think I would have wanted that, though it would have been so much easier.  I wanted to be with Velma, and have her for my girlfriend.  But I guess I also wanted to have my cake and eat it too... because, well, when Velma did ask me later that night if I wanted us to be together I told her yes, but... I just didn't want everyone to know yet.  Would you believe it, I just happened to have a real convenient reason for that, too—I'd just broken up with Daphne a month before (again, if you could really call it a breakup.)  Our relationship was well-publicized, though (Mystery Inc was getting pretty famous by that time) and I explained to Velma that I didn't want everyone to think that I was some kind of player, dating both girls in the group only a month apart.  

            Sounds really noble, huh.  And she believed me—well, it was a good reason.  You know what, I believed myself, too.  What was I going to do—admit to myself that I was being a jerk who was too scared of what everyone would think?  Plus, there was some truth to it.  I always used to get a hard time from the guys at school about being so lucky—having both of the Mystery, Inc girls.  I even used to laugh about it—I was so proud about my reputation of being good with the ladies.  The guys knew it had a limit, though—say anything crude about either Daph or Vel and I'd stop it right there.  I didn't want people saying those kinds of things about Velma and me.

            See, my motives weren't all bad.  It wasn't really a bad thing to want to keep our relationship low-key for awhile, at least until the media buzz about me and Daph wore off.  But I still made a stupid mistake—the first of many I was going to make, and believe it or not, probably the smallest.  Velma agreed with me and said that she understood—and after all, we could still be together when we around the rest of the gang.  Well, what do you think I did?  I went into this whole other speech, trying to convince her – and myself—that we should probably just keep it totally to ourselves for awhile, because otherwise word would get out and defeat the whole point.  And wouldn't it be fun to have a secret relationship?  Velma smiled at me but I could tell she wasn't going for it.  And why should she have—I was wrong.  I know that now.  Finally, though, I said something about how I wasn't sure how Daph would take it, even though our break-up had been mutual.  Well that did it for Velma.  People might not know it, but she has a really soft heart, and there's no way she would risk hurting her best friend.  So she agreed.

            Having a secret relationship _did _turn out to be fun, at least for a while.  I'd write her little notes and slip them into her pocket when we were out on mysteries and the rest of the gang wasn't watching, or get really bold and whisper messages in her ear.  I bought a set of walkie-talkies for the group to use when we were out on assignments, and somehow no one noticed that she and I always seemed to be the ones using them.  (They were supposed to be used to check up on our plans when we were baiting a trap for the ghost—not a whole lot of that happened.  One time we did feel really bad because Daph got captured and we were so busy chatting about other stuff that we forgot the whole rescue effort.)  Obviously, we talked on the phone a lot, too, but the best was when her parents went out of town—since they're marine biologists, they go out on research trips a lot.  I was over there with Velma every day, and I think it was the best week of my life.  We watched TV together, cooked, played board games, sang along with the oldies station on the radio...  I know not all those things sound 'cool,' but I had a good time, even though my friends probably would never let me live it down if they knew I did that stuff.  Once I sang one of her favorite songs to her when it came on—it was that Frankie Valli song "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You."  I did all these hand motions and just sort of belted the song out—I probably looked like a total dweeb, but she liked it.                         

            About a month of this went by... actually a little less than a month.  And then, of course, we got found out.  Found out—that makes it sound like we were doing something wrong, and we weren't.  The only thing that was wrong about it was that after a whole month, I still wasn't man enough... ouch.  Okay, you get my point.  And Velma never pushed me about it, though I knew she was getting impatient, and I didn't blame her.  

            So how did it happen?  Well, we'd all just solved yet another mystery, this time at a big abandoned warehouse, and afterward we headed for our cars out in the lot.  Daph had her own car and sped off for home right away, but the rest of us had some sorting out to do.  Velma's old Volkswagen was in for some repairs (she really ought to think about a new car, honestly) – and guess who had graciously volunteered to drive her in earlier that evening?  Also, the Mystery Machine needed some new tires, and I was going to take it in the next day, even though Shaggy actually drives it (when we're not on a case that is—then of course I take the wheel.  I'm the leader, after all.)  He really knows nothing about cars, though, so I said I'd take care of it.  The simplest thing was for me and Shag to switch cars (though I'm pretty possessive of my new BMW) and so that's what we did.  

            Velma and I didn't leave the lot right away, though.  With an opportunity like that, who could blame us?  I guess I don't have to tell you that we settled into making some serious time  (or as serious as Velma would let things get, which really wasn't very, but I wasn't complaining.)  Yep, right there in the front seat of the good ol' MM.  

            Of course, Shaggy _would_ have left his last box of Scooby Snax in the van.  Him and those dumb snacks!  

I'm guessing we'd been in there about ten minutes or so when he came back—but being a little _preoccupied_ I wasn't exactly looking at the clock.  I didn't see the door swing open, either—and Velma couldn't have, 'cause she'd taken her glasses off.  (They were totally fogged up anyway, so there wasn't much point.  Too bad the windows weren't, too, 'cause then Shaggy would have known to have... well, knocked or something, instead of just barging in.)  Sorry, I know I sound like I'm coming down hard on Shagster, and it wasn't his fault.  

Well, the second the door opened the dome lights came on, finally getting me and Velm's attention.  We automatically broke apart and shot to opposite sides of the van, but Shaggy had already gotten a pretty good eyeful of the situation.  He just sorta stared at us while Velma fumbled with her glasses and I re-adjusted my ascot.  Poor guy was so embarrassed, and Velms was, too—but neither of them really looked... _upset._  I was the only one who acted like anything was wrong.

            Oh, man you should have heard me try to explain myself out of that one... but come on, what can you really say?  The situation was pretty obvious—making out is making out.  Finally Velma took over and told Shag the whole thing... and she scooted right over next to me on the seat when she did it and took my hand.  I nodded and tried to look like I was going along with it, like everything was okay.  It wasn't.  I don't mean with Shaggy, either.  He seemed to take it in stride; I don't remember exactly what he said, but it was a lot of nice stuff about us being together, even though he was still beet red from having busted in on us.  No, the problem was all with me, and I didn't even really know why at the time.  Velma could see how freaked out I was, and when Shaggy finally retrieved his Snax and made the best exit that he could she pointed that out.

            I did about a pathetic a job trying to convince her that I was cool about everything as I had done trying to convince Shag... well, whatever it was I was trying to convince him of.  What a mess.  She knew I was scared about us being found out... and what really hurts me now is that I think she knew way back then the reason—even though I couldn't admit it to myself.  But if she did, she never said so, and she didn't accuse me or make some big ultimatum, like maybe a lot of other girls would have.  She just said that she was glad Shaggy knew, and that she wasn't going to keep us a secret anymore.  What I wanted to do about it, she said, was up to me.  But she loved me and didn't want to hide it.

            That's when everything fell apart.

            Okay, maybe not all right away.  But that was the trigger that set everything off.  What Velma said was right, of course.  I'm not denying that.

            But I denied her.

            I didn't mean to.  I honestly didn't mean to.  I know you won't believe me once I tell you what I did, but please hear me out.  Just.... hear me out.  'Cause this is where I really, really messed up...

Oooo... cliffhanger!  Well, what do you think?  Unconventional, yes...  but I think a few of the Fred-Vel scenes in the movie could back this up.  (Believe it or not, I'm actually more from the traditional Shaggy-Vel viewpoint, but I felt like doing something different.)  Review please!


	2. Chapter 2

A week passed after the "van incident," and I'd thought everything would be fine.  All that time I told myself how much I loved Velma, and how it really was good that Shaggy had found out.  The hard part was over—the truth was out.  If I loved her, wouldn't I want to tell everyone?  Of course I would!  And so that's exactly what I planned to do.  I even told this to Velma on the phone, and I almost called up some other friends to tell them all about us.  But I didn't.  Somehow I "never got around" to telling my parents, either.

A mystery came up, and my mind was soon occupied with getting everything ready for the short trip out to the site.  That, and seeing Velma again.  Yeah, I knew it was going to be uncomfortable what with seeing Shag for the first time since the "incident", not to mention filling in Daphne about the situation.  (The dumb thing is that, looking back, I think she  would have been happy for us.)  I didn't really know if I should do some big "group leader" announcement, or what, so I decided to just play it by ear.  Probably if I just started acting with Velma in front of the gang like I did when it was just us, everyone would catch on.

This would have been great had Velma's house not been me and Shag's first stop en route to pick up the gang.  (Daph lives on the ritzier side of town, which is kinda out-of-the-way from the rest of us.)  I helped Velma into the van, gave her a kiss, and then suggested that she slide over and sit next to me—Daphne's sacred spot.  Well, Velma was my girlfriend—it wouldn't hurt to change things a little.  Since Shaggy already knew about us, it wasn't that big of a deal—and it made it a little too easy for me.

Daphne did look sorta surprised when she noticed the new seating arrangements but she didn't say anything—and I didn't either.  It would have been so easy to just tell her then, but I kept putting it off and putting it off.  Finally, after we had arrived at the "haunted" theme park,  I decided to do it when we split up... Shag and Scoob; me, Vel, and Daph.  Shaggy gave me a kind of knowing, raised-eyebrow look when I moved off with both girls at my side, but that was about it.  He was great about the whole thing and never teased us or said anything that would "blow my cover."  Looking back on it, I wish he had, because it would have forced me to do what I should have done long before.  But of course he didn't, because he's just that kind of considerate guy.  Velma didn't say anything either ('cause I knew she wanted to see if I would do it,) though she did come up really close to me when I was giving out instructions.  I knew she wanted me to hold her hand or put my arm around her or something, but I didn't do it.  She didn't just do it herself 'cause even though she's so bold when it comes to ghosts and stuff, she gets shy about showing her feelings—especially in public.  Weird, huh?  

My plan might have worked had Daph not fallen into a trapdoor right off the bat.  (I think she has some sort of trapdoor radar—but hey, whatever works!  We've found lots of clues that way.)  The next thing I knew we were all running around the place being chased by the "ghost"—pretty much our typical mystery.  After we found enough clues to figure out who was behind the scheme, Vel came up with a plan to catch him. (Sometimes I do it, and sometimes she does.  Of course no matter who does Shag and Scoob manage to get tripped up in it, but somehow it always works anyway.)  The ghost turned out to be some tweaked off old guy who used to own the park (surprise, surprise) and we de-masked him right about the same time that the  press got there.  Like I said before, Mystery, Inc. was pretty darn popular—especially me and Daph.  I did interviews all the time for different magazines, especially the ones for teenage girls, who loved me.  A lot of young guys even started dressing like me—ha!  I knew the ascot would make a comeback, and no one believed me!

Anyway, I was just thinking that I could make a huge press announcement about me and Vel right then and there when a whole swarm of media people hit us.  It was the biggest group of cameras and reporters we'd ever had!  All of a sudden, there I was with about a dozen cameras in my face and twice as many microphones all around.  I'm pretty used to this, and I love getting to talk to the media—and getting filmed.  Hey, I'm a photogenic guy.  Maybe it was starting to get to my head, and that didn't help things.  Didn't help, but it wasn't the reason.

            It wasn't the reason that I stood right there on national television and stole Velma's credit.

            I didn't even know that I was doing it.  I really didn't; I just kept on talking.  I didn't know until I glanced over and saw her staring at me—and it wasn't a nice, checking-me-out stare, either.  She was looking at me like she couldn't believe what I was doing. The rest of the gang looked the same way.  I mean, I might be the spokesperson for the gang, but I had always let everyone have their turn talking.  That, and I had NEVER taken credit for something I didn't do.  Not before that night, anyway. When I caught Velma's eye she shook her head a little, not frowning, but questioning.  I turned my head away and back to the camera, and I didn't look at her again until all the cameras were gone.

            It wasn't until they left that I figured out I'd done something wrong—and you gotta believe me on this—I was sorry.  When I saw Velma afterward I had a feeling I was about to get sorrier.  Her face was like stone, and she was biting her lip—hard.  I'd known Velma long enough to know what that meant—either she was trying not to cry, or she was incredibly ticked off.  Neither one looked like a good option for me.  You bet that the other three picked up on it, too—they shot right out of there, though Daphne did give me a funny look.  I don't know if she figured out what was really going on—that me and Vel's upcoming fight was about more than just credit-stealing.  Not that that wasn't a good enough reason.  Velma had every right to let me have it.

            But she didn't.  To this day I don't know why.

            I'd been expecting it, that's for sure.  Patience isn't exactly one of Velma's virtues, and she gets annoyed real easily, but she hardly ever downright loses her temper.  But what she does do when she gets mad is way worse than someone yelling at you or slamming a few doors.  She closes up and gets all defensive, and when you try to explain or talk to her she bites out with those sharp words of hers.  I knew I was in for a real tongue-lashing.

            You can guess how surprised I was when the totally opposite thing happened.  Velma spun around to face me after watching the rest of the gang drive away... and she was crying.  Velma hardly ever cries (at least not to where anyone can see it,) and it was awful.  I can't stand to see any girl cry—I guess it's just he protective kind of guy I am.  Seeing _her_ do it was about 100 times worse.  Worse than even seeing your own mother cry, and that's terrible.  Man, I felt so guilty you wouldn't believe it.  

            "Fred, what was that?" she asked me.  Her tone was still pretty sharp even though she was crying—sharp enough to hurt.  I could barely get out some kind of stuttering reply.  Me— the guy who always knows what to say.  Oh, it was bad.  But what could I really say?  I didn't know why I'd done what I did.  

            But she did.

            "It's what happened the other night, isn't it?" she said, trying to wipe the tears off.  "Now someone knows and so you're trying to push me away."

            I couldn't believe she'd said that!  She had it all wrong!  Didn't she know how much I loved her--- why would I want to push her away?  "NO!" I protested right away.  "Ve—Velma!"

            "I don't mean on purpose, Fred," she continued, sounding like I was two years old or something.  I love Velma, but I hate when she does that!  "Even though you don't want to admit it to yourself, you don't want people to find out that you're attracted to me.  To a _dorky chick._"

            "No!" I exclaimed again. Her words were getting harsh, and I was starting to get mad, too.  How could she be so wrong about me?

            "So during the interview tonight, your subconscious mind used the opportunity to put distance between us by doing something that would both make me upset and get me out of the way."

            Subconscious mind?  What in the heck was she doing?  By that time she'd definitely stopped crying, and she was even holding up one finger—she was in total lecture-mode!  "Velma, this isn't some psychology report!" I shot back at her.  

            She had to give me that one, and she was quiet for a little bit.  "Yeah.  But I'm still right Fred," she said finally, and she said it real softly—not smugly or anything, like she sometimes is when she knows she's right.

            Of course I know now that she was right.  I might not know as much about psychology and all those scientific terms as she does, but I know enough to realize that she really hit the nail on the head with that one.  I WAS trying to push her away with my actions—even though I had no idea then that that was what I was doing.  I don't know if that takes a little of the blame off me or not—probably not.  I still was the one who said those words to the interviewers, even if I didn't know exactly why.

            Even though I didn't agree or even really understand what she was trying to tell me back then, I did know that I just didn't want Velma to be mad at me anymore.  I would never, ever steal her credit again, I told myself—and her.

            "Velms," I said to her, not feeling so mad anymore, "I don't know why I did what I did in front of those cameras.  Maybe you _are_ right, but whatever it was it was really stupid and I'm sorry."  I felt miserable, and I guess I looked pretty pathetic, 'cause it got Velma's attention.  At least she was willing to hear me out now.  "And I'll never, EVER do that again."

            That really softened her up, which was pretty strange, considering how peeved she'd been at me only a couple of minutes before.  She must have really wanted to forgive me.  I leaned in and gave her an "I'm sorry" kiss—the nice, soft kind that she likes best.  (Normally, our kissing was a little...errrr... _enthusiastic_... it always felt like it might be the last time we ever got to do it.  I guess that happens when you have a relationship like ours was.)  She even kissed me back a little, so I figured she was through being mad at me.  Maybe she even thought she'd been wrong about what she'd said—maybe I _had_ only gotten caught up in the press excitement and made a dumb mistake, like I'd tried to convince her.

            When we got out of the kiss, she had one last thing to say.  "Promise?" she asked.

            "Huh?" was my oh-so-intelligent reply.  I was a little distracted and hoping I could get in another kiss.

            "That you'll never, ever do that again?"

            Oh, right.  Then I'd remembered what I'd said before I kissed her.  "I promise," I said right away, and scored the second kiss.

            I broke my promise.

More to come... 


	3. Chapter 3

            It was a really good thing that I enjoyed those kisses that night—because they were going to end up being two of the last ones I got from Velma after that.  Two of the last ones I will _ever_ get from her; she'll never take me back now.  I didn't know it, but that night was the beginning of the end.  The end of me and Velma... and the end of Mystery, Inc.

            It didn't have to be that way.  That's what gets to me now, knowing that even then I could've fixed things.  Velma forgave me that night, but she couldn't forgive what I would do in the next month.  Or maybe she did, I don't know.  But she couldn't be with me anymore.  I really can't blame her.  After that first night that I bragged to the press, I turned into a totally different guy, and it wasn't exactly a change for the better.

Things actually started off okay after that night—though I guess it's kinda mean to say that considering the circumstances—those being that Velma got sick.  This was pretty weird, 'cause Velma is one of those people with super-resistance or something, and she never gets sick.  She'll tell you that herself and is really proud of it (though when I teased and reminded her of that after she _did_ get sick, she hit me.  Okay, so I also threw in some comments about _my_ super-resistance—I'm healthy as a horse all the time.)  In fact, I didn't even catch whatever it was that Velma had, even after I spent a whole afternoon right in germ-range.

I never would've guessed that that afternoon would be the last nice time that Velma and I would have together.  As soon as I found out she was sick, I decided to do what any good boyfriend would do (don't say it, I know) and headed over to give some serious bedside TLC.  Velma's mom let me go on up to her room; by that time she'd gotten used to seeing me over there.  I'd never really hung out at Vel's house before we got together in the boyfriend-girlfriend way, except for with the rest of the gang, so I'm pretty sure she and Harold figured out that me and Velms were more than friends.  That, and I'm sure she told them—they're a tight family.  I don't know what they thought about it, honestly.  The Dinkleys are all kinda hard to read sometimes, Velma included.  They were kinda more formal with me than they'd been before (they're the only two people that actually call me by my whole name, Frederick) but other than that, nothing.  I kept expecting Harold to plunk me down one of those times and have "the talk" with me, but it never happened.  

            Velma really was feeling bad that day, all hunkered down in her bed, holding onto a great big stuffed teddy bear that I'd won for her when we went to a carnival on a date.  She'd named the bear Fred, and had even tied a little orange scarf around its neck.  I thought she'd probably like to hold onto the real Fred instead, so I came on in, and she sat up a little and smiled.  I loved being in her room.  I guess it kind of fascinated me, how I used to go in there when we were all kids, and now even though the room looked almost exactly the same, our relationship was totally different.  I went right over and sat down next to her, and when I gave her a kiss on the forehead I found out she was burning hot.  Her throat hurt, too, she said, and she was all achy with the fever.

            Luckily, I'd come prepared.  I'd brought over some ice cream in a little cooler—the good, real stuff with actual cream.  Velma loves ice cream no matter the occasion (hot fudge sundaes from the Malt Shop are her favorites) and it didn't take any convincing to get her to eat it.  She even let me feed her a few spoonfuls before she got too embarrassed and took over, saying something about being "perfectly capable of feeding herself."  I loved getting Velma a little bit embarrassed like that, and I'd do stuff just to see her blush or forget what she was saying.  It's adorable, at least to me.  Anyway, after that I let her win at Trivial Pursuit (before you laugh at me, let me explain that this means I actually agreed to play) and then gave her a nice, long backrub, which she liked.  So did I; any kind of contact was good by me.

            I was just finishing up when Velma said something that would stick with me for a  long time.  It's still there now, running over and over in my mind.  She turned over and I saw a big, relaxed smile on her face—not something that you see on her everyday— come to think of it—practically ever.  She looked right up at me and said, "Jinkies, Fred, when you put your mind to it, you're the sweetest boyfriend in the world."

            It didn't hit me very hard then—I just smiled one of the cocky smiles that she loved and said something to tease her.  No, it would hit me hard later... when she took her words back.  Oh, she had good reason, because on our very next case, I did it again.  Somehow, when I was standing in front of all those cameras with the lights on me and microphones getting everything I said—when I should have been telling everyone about me and Velma—I broke my promise instead.  I stole her credit for the second time.  But that's not the worst of it.  It didn't end there.  The next case was the same...and the next... and the next...    

            I'd thought I'd worked all that out, that I was through doing that.  You better believe that Velma wasn't going to believe my explanation about the attention getting to me (though that would come into play later.)  She was convinced now that I was just trying to distance us, especially since we knew by then that Daphne was on to our relationship.  She might have known before this, but she'd come to visit Velma when she was sick just as I was leaving.  Daph may come off as ditzy sometimes, but she isn't stupid.  She can put two-and-two together, and me having been alone with Velma, visiting, was some pretty strong evidence when you stuck it with everything else.  I'd never done anything like that before.           

I didn't believe Velma, of course, but I also wasn't doing anything to prove her wrong—like maybe acting like her boyfriend in public.  I paid her lots more attention at first, like splitting off with her on clue-hunts, or having her sit next to me in the van or at the Malt Shop.  But that kinda trailed off pretty quickly, not because I wasn't going through the actions, but because it got to the point where I wasn't paying much attention to anyone but myself.  Not that this changed the gang knowing about us—even though no one said anything, they knew.  I think that Daph wanted to talk to me about it, and a couple of times she sounded like she was trying to get me onto the subject, but I always cut it short or changed the topic.  She might have talked to Vel; I don't know.

What it came down to was that we were stuck in some weird kind of limbo, where there's some secret that everybody knows—and knows that everybody else knows.  Heck, probably even Scooby had caught on.  And it was my fault, though after awhile I don't think I could've fixed it even if I'd brought the whole story out into the open.  Way too much damage done.  I guess the big question is why didn't Velma do it, but think about it—what in the heck was she supposed to say?  "Fred and I have been together for two months but he's too embarrassed about it to tell you?  In fact, that's why he's stealing my credit?"  Okay, maybe if she got mad enough she might've spit something like that out, but Velma's also way too proud for that.  What I don't get now, considering how proud she is, is why she didn't break up with me.  Velms has never been one to take any kind of bull from anyone, and that's exactly what I was giving her.  Not that I knew it, and believe it or not, if she'd broken up with me I would've been surprised.  I was still—you guessed it—in that great place called denial.  Either that or total disillusion—I'll get to that in a minute.  So why didn't she end things—I honestly don't know.  I really don't.  Maybe it's just that she'd loved me for such a long time before we got together that she didn't want to let go.  I remember one time when I was a kid I wanted to go to this football camp, and I mean I really wanted to.  For the whole year before it was practically all I could think about, and I begged my parents to let me go.  They did, but when I actually got to go... I found out I hated it.  There was this jerk of a head coach, and I was miserable.  But when I got home I said the exact opposite, and this is actually the first time I've admitted what a bad time I actually had.  It wasn't just that I didn't want to hurt my parents' feelings, seeing as how they'd paid that money for me to go.  It was mostly just because I didn't want to admit that something I'd wanted so bad and thought would be so great... wasn't.  Anyway, I guess you get my point.  Maybe that's how Velma felt, or she could have just been hoping I'd turn back around.   Maybe, deep down, she thought she could be wrong about me wanting to push her away, and it really was just all the publicity that was making me act that way.  (Which was actually partway true—it was one of those vicious cycle things.)  After all, I'd been nice-guy, good-leader Fred for a lot longer than I'd been an attention hog.  

But even though we weren't _technically_ broken up, we weren't really together either—not in a happy couple way, let me tell you.  I didn't get it at the time, why Velma was giving me the cold shoulder.  I know that's dumb, what with the way I was behaving-- I guess I couldn't expect her to be all cuddly after I'd just stood on TV and pretty much shoved her into the background.  (It was getting so bad that she really was getting shoved into the background—literally—by the reporters that were trying to get to me, Daph, or Scoobs.)  Before, if that'd ever happened, I would have given the reporter who did it a piece of my mind.  But it wasn't before, and I wasn't the Fred Jones I had been before—the Fred Jones who took care of the girls and let everyone explain the case.  And that was the problem.  The more I tried to push Velma back and get attention, the more I got, and it somehow went right to my head.  I've always been confident and I like being in the spotlight, but before I'd never let it get out of hand.  For me, the fame was like a door that I think I always knew I shouldn't open all the way, because my ego would just run away with it.  And it did.  I got so worked up with the attention and praise I got that in no time at all Mystery Inc had a first-class jerk for a leader, and Velma an even bigger first-class jerk for a boyfriend. It started to bother me that Velma was acting so distant— after all, I was Fred Jones!  Thousands of girls loved me; they followed me wherever I went,  screaming and yelling about how great I was.  My face was on their magazines and pin-ups of me were in practically every girl's locker.  And not only them—women my own age were after me, too.  And here I was with a girlfriend who was turning into some kind of ice princess!  Didn't she know how lucky she was to have me?  So I started flirting with some of the women who flocked around me— I guess to remind her.  Yeah, I know that you're hearing this and any sympathy you might have had is flying right out the window.  This isn't easy for me to tell you, and believe me I'm not proud of myself.  Please keep that in mind... please.  'Cause this next part is the worst of all.  I didn't only flirt with all those star-struck fans.  I started up again with the girl who had always liked it, who had always made me feel big and important.

            Daphne.

            Only this time she didn't like it at all.   


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer:  This chapter contains dialogue from the film "Scooby Doo" written by James Gunn.  No infringement is intended.

"How could you do that to Velma!?"

That was Daphne, yelling at me for the first time in probably years.  She didn't just not like my flirting, she made it real clear to me that she wasn't going to stand for it—not one bit.  At first I she seemed like she didn't quite believe that I was doing it—she'd shake it off, looking at me funny.  But then one day when we were all hanging out at the park... I don't even remember what it was that set her off—a certain kind of smile, some remark—but I do remember how she blew up in my face about it the second she could get me alone behind the Mystery Machine.   

  "What?"  I said back, looking the soul of disbelief.

"You know very well what I mean, Fred," she pounded back.  "Don't try that innocent act on me."

I just barely held in another 'what' when she said that.  What she didn't know was that I wasn't acting—I honestly had no idea.  It's amazing what self-delusion will do for you.

"Do you really think I don't know don't know about you two?  For heaven's sake, I've known for practically _forever_."

"It's not really..." I started to deny automatically, but then for some reason one little bit of good sense finally clicked in.  Or maybe it was conscience.  I don't know.  "How did you...?  You know, find out?"  I asked, trying to look as casual as I could about it.  Like I didn't care at all—but I did.  Her words had jolted me all right, and I couldn't stop thinking about how long she'd seen right through everything I'd tried so hard to block.  _Practically forever._ Since the beginning?  Since two weeks ago?  What?  Or maybe even... for years?

"Velma told me," she answered, surprising me so much that I didn't even get the details.  When had she told?  After Shaggy found out... or even before that?  The more I think about it now, the more I think that was the case.  Velma just isn't the type to sneak around—I should have known.  Not that it really mattered.  "But it wasn't like I didn't already know.  You two were totally obvious."    

            "And...uhhh... you're not mad?"  It was the first thing I could think of to say.

            "No—why would I be mad?  You and I didn't work out, Fred, we both know that.  Maybe it was even because we knew deep down that you and Velma belonged together, not us—and that's great.  When I first found out, I was really happy for you guys."  

            I let out some kind of noise then--  sort of the "hmmph" that people do when they really don't believe something.  It's awful, but I was so stuck on myself by that time that I guess I just couldn't believe that Daphne would be okay with losing me.  "But you're not now?" I went on, all cocky, totally ignoring the angry look that came over her face.  She'd calmed down a little over the past couple of minutes of conversation, sort of patiently explaining things to me like a mother does with a little kid.  Daphne gets that way when she's talking about relationships.  But now she was out of patience. 

            "No, Fred—and do you know why?"  she said, her face and voice going all tight and stiff.  "Because you're acting like this—like a total, absolute jerk!"

            "Now Daph..." I sighed, putting my hands up.

            She didn't stop.  She was too upset.  "And now Velma is mad at me, because she doesn't get that I don't like all your stupid flirting..." Her voice was breaking, and I think some tears were even starting to come out, too.  Daph hates crying in front of people as much as Velma does, and she swatted them away, getting an angry look again.  "How can she not believe me!?  She's my best friend."  There was a really long pause, and Daph looked down, talking more to herself than me, I think.  "She _was_ my best friend.  I'm not so sure now."  

            I was just looking around, trying to distance myself from Daph's little tirade.  For awhile it seemed to work—she was so wrapped up in being mad at Vel and the whole situation that I'd thought she'd forgotten all about me.  I was wrong—again.  She looked dead at me and said one more thing before she turned on one heel and left.

            "And it's all your fault, Fred."      

            Things fell apart pretty quickly after that.

            It's awful that in just a few months, a group that had been friends since we were kids was ripped apart, but that's what happened.  Because of one relationship.  And probably all because of _me._  I don't know if maybe there were some problems already starting before all of this.  You'd think there'd have to be, right?  That this was just the thing that set it all off.  But I don't know.  What I _do_ know is that before too long, the closest friends in the world—us—could barely stand to be around each other.  Oh, we hid it pretty well for as long as we could, but underneath all the show, the pressure was building up, just threatening to blow up in our faces.  Daphne was mad at Velma for getting the wrong idea, plus, to be really honest, Velma wasn't being that nice to her.  Yeah, she'd always joked with her about being danger-prone-- we all joked about that-- but her teasing got this edge that none of us could miss.  If there's anyone who can hurt you with sarcasm, that's Velma, and whether she knew she was doing it or not, she kept throwing it at Daph.  Velma was of course ticked off at Daphne because of my flirting— but—and I might be way off here—I think she was really more mad at the situation than she was at her best friend, and she was just taking it out on her  And mad at me.  They both were completely peeved at me; I was the center of it all.  And I was angry, too, in a way—at Velms for ignoring me and Daphne for... well, I'm not really sure for what, maybe just not going along with the situation.  I made up for it by going more and more into my own little self-obsessed world.  The only totally innocent ones were Shaggy and Scooby.  Poor guys, caught in something they had nothing to do with.  They just watched the three of us bicker and fight, sometimes trying to step in and bring us back together again, but mostly just watching, sad.  Still, they were the glue that managed to hold us together for just a little while longer.

            Until tonight.  It was supposed to be just an ordinary case.  But it wasn't.  All of our worlds came crashing down.  Stupid "Luna Ghost" or whatever the heck he was.  I don't usually hold a grudge against any of the criminals we stop, but for him I think I'll have to make an exception.  If he hadn't been off "haunting" that factory tonight, we never would have showed up and...  

Okay, okay, I'm not really being fair.  I know, you don't have to tell me.  But right now—you know what-- I really don't care about that.  Yeah, if it hadn't been his case, it would have been some other one that finally got all of us to the end of our fuses and touched things off.  He wasn't anything out of our ordinary experience— old guy dressing up as a ghost in order to scare a toy factory out of business.  (Well, the angle about him wanting revenge over being turned down for a date was a little new.)  Even his name was right out of our typical case files—Old Man Smithers.  Classic.  But it _was _him, and that's it.  He had to go and capture Daphne, at a point where she'd had just about enough of all of Velma's snide remarks about being kidnapped.  (Okay, so I wasn't being that nice about it, either.)  Velma was the one to come up with a plan to catch him this time, not me, and she wasn't too happy when I barely paid attention to her explanation over the walkie-talkie.  What was I doing?  Fixing my hair, that's what.  And to think that only a couple months before, I would have been glued to the thing, trying to get every last word that she said.  That's not even the worst of it.  My job in the plan (which of course got messed up) was to hit the ghost with a spray of water from the fire hose.  I was aiming for him when he flew through the air, and I accidentally hit Velms instead.  Right off the parapet where she was standing, probably a good fifty, sixty feet up—maybe more.  I think my heart actually stopped as she was falling off that thing—I'm not just using an expression there-- and I tried to yell, but nothing came out.  It was like I was frozen, the way you are in a bad dream when you're trying to run away but your feet are stuck.  If she'd hit the ground... she could have.... she _would _have.... well, you know what would have happened, and I would have _lost her_....  but she didn't.  A chain caught onto her foot somehow, and stopped her right above the ground.  

            I wanted to run to her, I really did, and not just to help her out of the chain.  Right then, I felt my whole body kind of jerk forward, like it was trying to get over to her all on its own.  But that's when it happened.  For a second there, my old self had come back, all concerned for Velma—_my girlfriend_—but as soon as it came up, it left again.  Cool Fred again.  

            "Sorry Velma."  That's all I said.  Said it like I didn't care at all.  

            I acted just the same way when I strolled on over and helped her out of the chain.  A second before I'd been practically frantic, ready to run over to her and help her down and kiss her probably a million times, so relieved that she was alright... I don't know what happened to me.  Maybe if I'd done that, I even could have saved us-- nothing like a near-death experience to bring people back together.  But I didn't, and I guess it won't do me any good to think about it anymore.  I can't fix it.  I can't go back.  All I can do is tell you how it ended.

            Somewhere in all of this mess, the Luna Ghost got caught, and literally seconds later the owner of the factory showed up, along with the press and a whole group of my fans.  All the attention that I should have been paying to Velms (or really the case, even) went—you guessed it—right to them.  I was signing autographs and smiling for a bunch of cameras when some reporters started asking me about our case.  They always went straight to me, now, for the information.  Velma?  I barely saw her.  The way things were going, if she didn't go into the background herself, the press put her there.

            I don't think I need to tell you that I took the credit again.  Standard procedure, par for the course, by this time.  Not even a second thought.  The only thing I did think was weird was that Velma butted into my little press show.  A reporter asked me how the Luna Ghost was able to fly, and just as I was about to come up with something (okay, I'll admit it—I didn't have the slightest idea that time—Velms actually saved my rear end on that one) she stepped right in and explained it all herself.  I didn't mind, 'cause, like I said, I didn't really know the answer, but I did wonder at the time why she did it.  I figured that she was doing it to help me out—a nice, girlfriend-type thing.  Boy was I wrong on that one.  It wasn't that at all.  It was Velma saying that she'd had enough.  In the parking lot, about ten minutes later, I'd find that out.

            She was just plain ticked off.  "Fred, I can't believe you took credit for my plan again," she said when we got out to the lot afterwards.  She didn't even wait until we were out of the range of the news cameras.

            "Vel—ma," I said back, sounding like I was going over something for the millionth time.  Well, we practically were.  I think she was about as used to my taking her credit as I was to doing it— I thought it was a little strange that she even brought it up, actually, at the time.  But it wasn't just the credit-stealing that set her off that night—it was everything, coming to a head.  The bickering with Daphne.  Our problems.  The fact that she could have _died_ and I'd blown it all off.  _Why_ did I do that?!  But I did and now everything's wrong, all wrong and....

            Okay, I've got to slow down.  I told myself I wasn't going to think about that anymore.  Or not until later when I can't help it.

            See, it isn't much longer now.

            Velma wasn't the only one in a bad mood.  "Some plan," Daphne came in.  "That ghost pawed me for an hour and a half."

            "Look, Daph, it's not our fault that you always get kidnapped," I said-- believe it or not, trying to stick up for Vel.  For once.

            It did _not_ go over well.  "I do not _always_ get kidnapped," Daph protested.  "I can't believe you'd say that to me."  She sounded hurt, and for a second I felt a little guilty.

            Velma didn't.  "Oh, please—you come with your own ransom note."

            It was just one sarcastic remark too many for poor Daph.  Tensions were high and I guess no one can blame her for blowing up a little.  But I honestly couldn't believe how she showed it.  She pulled Velma's glasses right off of her face.  And she knew—she _knew_ never to do that.  I know we all laugh about Velms losing her glasses at bad moments, but really, it's not that funny.  It really scares her.  Even when I was around her and she'd take them off on purpose (you know—like if we were making out) she'd hold them in her hand with this vice-grip, and if she put them down she'd reach out and check for them every couple of minutes without even thinking.    Just too many bad experiences with losing them.  So anyway, I tried to get Daphne to give them back right away while Vel crawled around looking for them, but it wasn't going to fly.  She was actually dancing them around above Velma's head so she couldn't' get them.  I don't know if that surprised me more, that or what Vel said next.

            "I'm gonna kill you, Daphne!" she exclaimed—of course she didn't mean it, but I was still pretty shocked.  They'd never fought like this.  I got even more shocked when I felt Velma's hands close around my throat.  She was jerking me back and forth—pretty darn hard, too—not hard enough to really hurt, but still!  I guess she was aiming for Daph, but I'm not so sure she didn't know she had the wrong person.  Me, Daph—she was mad at both of us, though I deserved it way more.  I was so stunned— I mean, Velma's not a violent person—but I did manage to get her fingers off my throat and then say something really dumb about my ascot.  Right away she  crossed her arms and shot dagger-looks everywhere, while Daph gloated and finally let her grab the glasses back. 

Shag and Scoob had just been starting at the three of us from the sidelines, but right then good ol' Shagster stepped up to the plate and try to talk some sense into us.  It was weird—he didn't look as shocked as I felt right then.  I don't know if he didn't think our fight was as big a deal as it looked... but probably he was just hoping it wasn't.  I don't think that he and Scoob could get their minds around the fact that Mystery Inc. had been tearing itself apart, and was fast going in for the final blow.  We were too caught up in our argument by that time to even hear what Shaggy was trying to tell us. Something about a banana split and these bogus ice cream flavors... I tuned out after the part about me.  It wasn't until I heard two words from Velma that I tuned in again—and fast.

            They were—"I quit."

            She couldn't mean it.

            But she did.  Or I guess she did.  She stood there holding her chin up, trying to look firm—but I knew her well enough to know that she was trying not to cry.  Should I try to stop her?  Something way back in my head told me that that's what she wanted... just for me to tell her not to leave us...  

            _Why didn't I?_

            I was so close, so close to telling her how much we all wanted her... how much _I_ wanted her.  But I was too far gone by then.  My stupid pride.  Then, through it all, I heard Daphne quit, too.  At first I thought she was doing my job for me.

            "No way!" she started out.  Didn't Velma's face lighten up a little when she heard that?  "You can't quit!"  It did.  It was.  Then... "I was going to quit in, like, two seconds, and now everyone's totally going to think that I copied off the smart girl!"  No.  Her face fell, then grew hard again.  She was set.

I made my decision, too.  If they didn't want me, didn't want to be in _my_ group anymore (that's what I thought) well then... that was it.  Fine.  I wasn't going to lose face and beg.  Still, when I opened up my mouth to say the words, they didn't sound like they really belonged to me.  But I said them all the same.

            "Maybe I quit."  I didn't sound sure.  Even then, I could've turned back.  But my pride wouldn't let me.  I think I struggled with it for half a second.  But that was all.  "I do.  Yeah, I quit!"

            So that was it.  From somewhere behind me as I stalked off to my car, I heard Daphne say something—sounded like "good riddance."  _My thoughts exactly_, I remember thinking.  _You said it, Daph._  Velma said something, too, that I couldn't catch.  I thought I didn't care—but I turned to look.  And when I did, reality finally came crashing down on me.

You ever noticed how it does that?  You're all nice and happy and disillusioned, and then just when it would be really good to be that way... bam!  Reality turns up and laughs in your face.  Well, that's what happened to me.  It came at first in trickles and little bits, but then in this huge awful rush.  It was the sight of my best friends—and the girl that I honestly (though you won't believe it) loved—walking away in different directions that did it, and Shaggy's voice calling out after us all sad and pleading:

"Don't go!  Come on, guys, don't do this!"  I could practically picture he and Scooby's faces, staring out at as with huge eyes.  They hadn't done anything—_anything_—and I'd hurt them, too.  "Please don't go."

_Please don't go_... the words I should have said to the gang myself.  I was the leader.  The words I should have said to Velma... along with about a million other ones.  Now we were walking away from each other in the dark, and we weren't going to come together again.  It wasn't supposed to be like this.  We should have been hanging out at the Malt Shop, Shag and Scoob stuffing themselves silly, Daph just sipping at her milkshake in this delicate way that no other girl can and getting all the guys in the room to trip all over themselves.  All of us swapping stories about our case, teasing each other in the friendly way that we used to... before it turned all bad and hurtful.  Later, it would just be me and Velma in the front seat of my car with the radio going, finishing our milkshakes and talking for a long time, then kissing for just as long with kisses that were all sweet and cool...        

Not ever again.  All of that was gone.  

For a few seconds at least, reality was kind to me.  When I watched my life pretty much fall apart as my friends walked away, I didn't feel anything at first.  It was like I was watching the whole thing as someone else—you know how the expression goes, that you're a "spectator at your own life?"  Well, that's how I felt.  The whole scene was playing out in front of me in  slow-motion, and I just watched for a second, knowing what was going on but not quite getting it.  The message just wasn't getting to my brain.  A couple of seconds went by.  It felt like more.  But then the images started coming.  Realization decided to show up.  The dam finally started to leak, about ready to burst, but only one word came out of me.

"Velma!"  My voice was loud, echoing all over that practically empty lot, but I didn't care.  For once, I couldn't have cared less about what the press saw or thought of me—or just the whole world in general.  Besides, I still felt a little weird and disconnected.  My voice came out of me, but it didn't feel like it had.  It was like it's own separate thing, out of my control.

            She turned around and glared at me then, but her face was all wet with tears.  Her lip was trembling—hard—and her eyes were full.  Even at my very worst, her tears would have killed me.  Suddenly I knew that I'd done it to her.  I'd hurt her—she was hurt and it was my fault.  A little more reality.  My friends were separating.  Was _she_ leaving me, too?  It'll sound stupid to you, but that was occurring to me for the first time.  

            Everything was quiet.  I looked at her and my heart actually started to hurt— the guilt was finally starting to come, too.  I reached out and tried to brush a tear from her cheek.  She slapped my hand away.  And that's when it hit full force.  No mercy.  The whole awful situation.  _The gang just broke up.  Everything is wrong.  You and Velma... ruined?..._  I stared at her hurt, angry face and could barely get out my dazed reaction to it all.

            "Velma?"  I said. "What... what are we doing?"  I was pleading and pathetic and awful.  

            And she didn't care.  "Jinkies, Fred," she said, bitter—"I think it's called breaking up."  Her voice was hard.  I didn't understand.

            "The gang or... you and me?"  I asked her, lost.

            "All of it, Fred.  All of it."

            Then she walked away, back to her car.  I stood there, too shell-shocked to think of stopping her.  I could hear her crying until she drove away.  

            Then she was gone.  But I can still hear her crying.

            That was what..... three, four hours ago?  

            It's amazing how months of disillusion can just conveniently ditch you in just a couple of hours.  Because now I see everything clearly.  Maybe it would be better if I didn't.  Now I have to face it all.  I can't get Velma back.  I could call her, try to apologize, but stupid as I acted before, I'm know that too much damage has been done for me to ever have another chance.  And Mystery, Inc. is gone—my whole life.  What am I going to do?

            Go on, I guess.  It's not like I don't have a lot going for me.  Velma and me---  we used to talk about what we wanted to do in the next couple years.  She was the first person I ever told about wanting to write a book about our cases, and she said I should go for it.  She was going to help me with the writing...

            I've got to stop doing this.  

Okay, so it all happened just a couple hours ago—thinking about it—about _her_ is going to be natural for awhile.  But it hurts.  Man, it _hurts._

            Why do all my memories have to go back to her, include her?  Oh, yeah, this is cruel—why didn't I even think that this book I want to write... it would be full of her, too!  All day, raking up memories of good times with the gang that I've ripped apart...

            So even that's ruined!  What haven't I managed to mess up!?

            Me.

Oh, not the real me, sitting here beating himself up.  I mean Fred Jones—the name, the image.  I liked it well enough before tonight, didn't I, and look where it got me.  But you know what... maybe there's something not all that bad about delusion.  I didn't care about anything but Fred Jones before, but I was pretty happy that way, wasn't I?

            Good thing.  Cause right now...

            Right now, it's looking like all I've got left.

Well, that's it, folks.  I may decided to re-work the first three chapters (just a little) as I think they could be improved, but that's iffy.  Anyway, hope you liked it...

Littlesoprano


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